The Spirits #72: The Painkiller

~ Navy-Strength ~ Wet Money ~ Tried Again. Tried Again. Tried Again ~

~ THE PAINKILLER ~

50ml dark rum
80ml pineapple juice
20ml orange juice
20ml coconut syrup

For the Coconut Syrup, simply make a basic 2:1 sugar syrup using canned cocount milk in place of the water. So that’s one part coconut milk (I favour the Thai brand, Aroy-D, which you can buy from Asian supermarkets in 6 x long life cartons or individual tins) to two parts golden caster sugar. Place in a saucepan and stir over a gentle heat until fully dissolved; then allow to cool. It will keep in the fridge for a week or two.

For the cocktail itself, shake everything with just a couple of cubes of ice, really hard, for a long time, and then pour out over fresh ice into a large glass or Tiki mug and top with more ice. Garnish outlandishly - and don’t neglect to grate nutmeg on top.

Some Painkiller Notes:

1) The original recipe calls for Coco Lopez coconut cream, available from cocktail specialists. I have come to favour the above method, since coconut milk is an ingredient I usually have in the larder. You don’t really need to make tons of this syrup at a time - I just saved a little from the end of a tin I’d used to make a Thai curry. I suppose you could also just use, say, 20ml coconut milk and as much regular sugar syrup as is required for balance.

2) I have also made this with grapefruit juice in place of orange juice and it works really well.

3) Please also note, the proportions given in the original recipe are 50% more voluminous than I have given, so it’s 75ml rum, 120ml pineapple juice, 30 orange juice, 30ml coconut cream… I’m just thinking about your head tomorrow.

AND HELLO.

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🖊️I am Richard Godwin.
🧋My instructions for sugar syrup, ice, grenadine, orgeat, etc are here.
🧑‍🏫 My 10 RULES FOR MAKING COCKTAILS are here.
⚗️ My bottle recommendations are here.
📃 The full A-Z recipe archive is here. 
➡️ Please find a round up of organisations helping Ukrainians here.

And you like The Spirits, do please forward this to your friends.

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The Painkiller originates in the British Virgin Islands in the 1970s, where it was the house drink at the Soggy Dollar bar - so called as you usually had to swim to get there, so all your money got wet in your shorts. It’s traditionally made with Pusser’s Rum too, which comes in at a Navy-strength 54.4% ABV and has a rich, leathery/treacly taste in the classic Demerara style. Hang on, sorry. It is OFFICIALLY made with Pusser’s Rum, who trademarked the name Painkiller in the 1990s. So expect a lawsuit if you make it with anything else!

Truth be told, it took me a while to get round to making the Painkiller as I always thought: rum, pineapple, coconut, isn’t that a Pina Colada? (The small amount of orange juice doesn’t make a huge amount of difference). But really, it’s the use of heavy dark rum that’s the distinguishing feature here. The Pina Colada is a deceptively alcholic dairy-free milkshake type drink. This is a no-bones about it powerful rum cocktail, flavoured with coconut and pineapple - and as I mentioned, the original calls for three whole shots of rum. Quite how that clientele made it back through the water to their hotels, I don’t know.

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CABINET POSTS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED:

🌿Green Chartreuse
🍒 Maraschino
🍑 Apricot Brandy
🍫 Crème de Cacao
🌷Cynar
🏝️ Falernum

Coming NEXT WEEK: Mezcal.

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PLAYLIST

Pills, diseases, medicine, maladies, doctors (I hear from the nurse that he’s gotten much worse). From Louis Armstrong to St Vincent, the Beta Band to Kid Creole, De La Soul to Mudhoney. Enjoy convalescing to this one.

THIS PLAYLIST UPDATES AUTOMATICALLY EACH WEEK. The idea is, you download it and return to it each week in your Spotify. If there was an old song you’d like to hear again, you’ll find it RIGHT HERE in the ongoing archive of 2021 playlists.

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WHAT I’VE BEEN WRITING

I interviewed the young actor Anson Boon who’s playing Johnny Rotten in Danny Boyle’s new Sex Pistols thing. (Observer)

And from a few months’ back but now up online: I wrote about how Britain’s shocking health inequalities are now dragging overall life expectancy downward. (Men’s Health)

WHAT I’VE BEEN READING

Loved this profile of Angel Olsen, whose new album Big Time I’ve had on loop. (New Yorker)

Jacqueline Rose and Sam Frears on EastEnders (LRB)

On board the grounded Rwanda deportation flight (Independent)

And JTC on the whole men reading women non-debate (New Statesman)

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SHOPPING LIST

Brandy, sparkling wine (champagne, prosecco, cremant, cava, all good), Angostura bitters, sugar syrup, lemon.

And look out for the MEZCAL edition of the Cabinet early next week.